END OF APRIL
I guess it is time for me to take this blog to a more personal level now and let you get to know me better. So pull up a seat as I take you along with me on my weight loss journey.
First of all I have to say that I am glad this is the last day of April. I have been sick for most of it and “cabin fever” is finally hit home here. We did not have much of a winter here, but yet it has been cold enough or raining (with a few days of snow fall), to make it hard to go for a walk.
Even though I have still been able to do my normal exercising and watching what I eat, I miss going for a walk in the evening with my husband and cat. Yeah, my one cat goes for a walk with me ( I think she was to be a dog, not a cat…haha).
You will come to find out that I am just a down to earth, country girl (with a lot of Red Neck in me..hehe). I am also a smarta$$ by nature and like to joke around a lot and usually at my own expense. But I think that is the norm for people that are over-weight.
Let’s face it, we all have demons that we have to battle and usually those that are over-weight have a lot more of those demons to battle, especially when we are trying to lose weight.
I know for me, those demons started at a young age. From feeling rejected by my parents to being bullied in school to spending way too many years in bad relationships. I’ve spent most of my life trying to get other people’s approval and acceptance of me and for what? It has never been anyone else other than myself that needed to approve and accept me for me.
Trying to please others and living up to what I thought they expected of me is what led me to becoming over-weight in the first place. Bouts of depression and dealing with panic attacks all of the time was not a good life to live. Depression led to binge eating and over eating also. And the panic attacks, well they used to come quite often and make me a total mess and of course I would turn to food to comfort myself. Why? Mainly because I felt that there was no one to understand and accept me.
All of that has changed now, thanks to my husband. The depression is still there, just not as severe anymore. I have mostly good days and when I do start to feel down, he is there to help pick me back up again and makes me realize that things could always be worse. I don’t take panic attacks like I used to either. I still don’t know how my husband does it, but he some how knows when I am about to take one and can usually talk me right out of them. I am so thankful that he can do all of this with me. I know that he accepts me for me and does not expect me to be anything else.
Having him in my life and knowing all of the support that I get from him makes sticking to losing weight so much easier. Hard to believe that at one point in time, I actually believed all of those people that said I was fat, ugly, stupid, etc, etc, etc…..you get the picture there. I may not be the prettiest, skinniest and far from the smartest; but I AM ME and would not change that for anything, no matter what others think of me. Ok, I lied there, the fat has to go!! So yeah, one day I just may be the skinniest. Fingers crossed, scale in hand, watch out world, cos I refuse to let this weight hold me down anymore. I will lose weight once and for all and I truly hope that you will be along side me in my journey, to make it “our” journey.
Till next time…..remember to eat healthy, get some exercise, and most of all, love yourself!!!